I am a bear's bear which is why I think the lady bears find me likable. Here are some of my ex's. From left to right: Tangy, Fresca (not technically and ex), Wendy, me (hehe), and Claudette.
We broke up for various reasons. Take Tangy for instance. She was too clingy. She wanted me to serenade her with ballads (and as you know, I am not a musical bear), write and dedicate loooove poems to her, and do all sorts of fanciful acts of chivalry. Needless to say, being a bear's bear and all, I shun all acts of romance in favor of action and adventure!
Then there was Claudette with her fur coat, pillbox cap and expensive purse. Marilyn Monroe was her idol so she drew her fashion inspirations from her, declaring herself the original material bear. Claudette was very very VERY high maintenance. She want me to buy her diamonds and gems and all sorts of things like corvettes and bentleys and such. I only bought her the hat because we were supposed to go to the Kentucky Derby one year. We never made it to the derby because of her coat. I did not approve of the fur coat. We had a big row over it when she tried making ME stuff it into my suitcase before we headed out. I never approved of the thing. It had been all white, which as you can imagine really upset me. she assured me that it was not made of an arctic animal, but I was infuriated that she wore any type of animal at all! That is when I threw pink paint all over it. And that was that.
Then there was Wendy. Oh, Wendy. She was a lovely girl but she had some issues with the bottle. She was into vodka and scotch because neither stained her fur if she spilled it on herself, which she inevitably did. She would drink an entire bottle all by herself, then she got out of control dancing all over the place, including on my head. Eventually she'd pass out for the night and I would have to carry her home. Never any fun. When she was sober she was quite lovely but often feeling ill so she was never up for visits to coney island. I didn't ride the ferris wheel once that summer.
